Two days of drawing and painting and what was coming out was ugly. So, this morning started again and now I am sure that what is coming out is too tight. Self doubt and the monster of self loathing are working hand in hand.
In the post today, a copy of The Well, sent by Jennifer Warnes. Wonderful. Particularly loved her version of Tom Wait's Invitation to the Blues. So lovely of her to send it to me. She keeps me painting and gives me courage. And right now I need all the courage I can get.
We are often our own worst enemies. Take a break, go for a walk, breathe and then come back to it when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteOh, I wish I could send you a magic courage spell. I'll see what I can do.
ReplyDeleteCenya
I think there are times when creative works flows and times when it is hard labor--I do think it can come right either way.
ReplyDeleteAs for the other: we know ourselves [the worst of our failings] in ways that others, however close, may not see.
When I am hag-ridden by past mistakes and my own stupidity, the best I can do is to whisper "Sorry" and hope that a stiff wind will blow it all away, so that I can get on with whatever has to be done.
Can you go on to something else on your to do list and come back to this later?
ReplyDeleteCourage need not roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at day's end saying "I will try again tomorrow". (Anon.)
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart's wisdom -- it will hold you strong and allow you to carry on.
With much love,
Judith
Douglas Adams once said that he loved the sound of deadlines whizzing past his ears. I probably sell less books in a year than he did in a week. Publishers NEED cover art in less than 2 weeks so have to just get on with it. Sometimes I think it is ok, sometimes I think it is just a load of rubbish! Oh dear. I know confidence has been knocked over covers since Can You See a Little Bear, Tell Me a Dragon and then the awful debacle of the Starlight Sailor cover.
ReplyDeleteStill even when the cover is done I still have too much and too many things to do, but I am lucky in these times to have too much work. Very lucky.
Both the part works in the photos above look quite lovely to me ...I had a lovely English Tutor who used to say if you get stuck and can't get the first paragraph right .."just start on the second" this advice may sound nonsensical but sometimes it helps (either that or you can totally ignore this nutty comment on your blog lol)
ReplyDeletebtw the adn has a Raven Ballet slideshow
http://www.adn.com/2010/10/17/1506167/dance-ballerina-ravens-perform.html
Sorry posted wrong link
ReplyDeleteCorrect link
http://www.adn.com/cgi-bin/apps/vmix/player.php?ID=19764401&GID=118
(for looking at in a couple of weeks time)
Gosh Jackie, you are so hard on yourself. Both pictures are wonderful and maybe your doubt comes from anticipating rejection. Don't go there. Do it for you first and then decide if it's ok to submit. If not, then finish the other one.
ReplyDeleteHave a (((HUG))) from me.x
Tell the What If demon to go away. You are a wonderful artist. Your drawings and paintings are a delight to look into and to marvel at. What's to loathe about Jackie Morris? She's amazing and cats love her...and they are very picky about who they love. You are so much Jackie, so much talent, skill and vision.
ReplyDeleteYou're a writer as well as an artist, a baker, a mother, a friend to cats and dogs and reading your blogs is always a pleasure and a privilege.
Self-doubt and self-loathing can slink away and hide. Screw your courage to the sticking place and you'll not fail... as Old Bill put it.